Inspired by Writer’s Block Busters – He wanted a girl whose hair he could run his fingers through….
He wanted a woman whose hair he could run his fingers through, like the Breck girls who graced the television ads of his youth. According to those commercials, his true love was an Irish lass with flowing red hair that had been kissed by the sun and caressed by a cool mountain breeze and because he had never been in love before, he foolishly believed them. He spent every waking moment looking for his glamour girl and when he met Colleen McGillicuddy, he thought he’d met his soulmate. Flowing tresses, freckles kissing the bridge of a pert, upturned nose, hourglass figure, and perfume scented with lilacs – she was the complete package except for one small problem. Her entire body was covered in a fine layer of hair. It seemed strange to him, but he chose to ignore it, concentrating instead on her sweet voice and loving heart. For a while things were ok. Then her hair started growing out, slowly at first and then picking up speed as time passed. He was worried and thought she should see a doctor. After all, hirstutism was a medically acceptable condition. Perhaps there was some kind of depilatory cream or pill that could help, but how could he suggest it to her? She obviously had no problem with her appearance and he felt guilty for even thinking such thoughts, so he let it go.
When her hair finally grew long enough that it trailed behind her a few feet, he decided to take matters into his own hands. He began to research Irish mythology and wondered if he had fallen in love with a Selkie or the Celtic equivalent of a werewolf, but even those ideas seemed far-fetched. The only way a Selkie would have stayed with him was if he had stolen her pelt when she changed from seal to human form. Clearly he’d never seen her in any other body other than the one she currently inhabited, so that wasn’t it, and even if she had been a faoladh, or werewolf, he wouldn’t have been in danger. Celtic werewolves were honored as healers and protectors of lost children. Besides, they lived in wolf form for seven years and in male/female pairs, so he’d have been one too. Given the fact that mythology couldn’t explain Colleen McGillicuddy and medical science could only do so in an insulting manner, what was he to do? Risk offending her by asking her what was wrong and lose her love, or accept her for what she was, just a slightly hairier version of his ideal woman? In the end he chose acceptance. So what if she had more hair than was considered feminine? She was beautiful in his eyes, and he planned to help her wash and braid her hair. He would weave lilac into her tresses so she would always have her favorite perfume, and in return she’d love him forever for his acceptance. Besides, if her hair got any longer, he could always cut it while she slept…if only he could find where she’d hidden the damn scissors.